The Invasion Of Time

(Based on The Walrus And The Carpenter from Alice Through The Looking-Glass)

The sun was shining on Gallifrey,
Shining with all it's might:
It did it's very best to make
The TARDIS warm and bright -
And this was odd because it was
Still travelling in flight.

Leela was acting sulkily,
Because she thought K.9
Was being very mean and
Would not let her go outside -
Even though the Doctor said,
They had to stay inside.

The Doctor came back in again,
And Leela asked him why
He gave her an order that
She had to give K.9
The order was to shut her up
And K.9 did comply.

The Doctor left the TARDIS
On planet Gallifrey
Chancellor Borusa was
The one he wished to see
"I wish to take my place," he said,
"In the presidency!"

"I've travelled several light years
In order to get here.
Do you suppose," the Doctor said,
"I could rule within the year?"
"I doubt it" said Borusa,
"But I will try - don't fear!"

"Oh Leela, come and walk with us,"
The Doctor did beseech,
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk
Around Gallifrey.
And by the way, did I tell you
I am now President?"

"The time has come!" the Doctor said
"To talk of many things.
Of shoes and ships of sealing wax
For cabbages and kings.
And how to stop the Sontarans
From now invading!"

"But wait a bit," the Time Lords cried
How can we stop that?
The Sontarans are very strong
But all of them are fat!"
"Don't worry!" said the Doctor
They thanked him much for that!

A Matrix circlet," the Doctor said
"Is what we chiefly need.
The Key of Rassilon besides
Is very good indeed.
Now if you're ready, Time Lords dear,
You must begin to flee!"

"Stop right there!" the Sontarans said
Turning a little blue
"After we've invaded
What a dreadful thing to do!"
"Borusa, dear," the Doctor said
You know what to do!"

"It was so kind of you to come,
And you are so very nice!"
Borusa said nothing but
"Give me a bit more light!
I wish you were not quite so deaf -
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Doctor said
"To play them such a trick.
After they've travelled out so far
And moved so very quick!"
Borusa said nothing but
"The D-mat gun is finished!"

"I weep for you," the Doctor said
"I deeply sympathize.
I sob some sobs and I weep some tears
Of those of largest size!"
With a blast from the gun, the Sontarans
Dematerialised

"Oh Leela," said the Doctor,
"We've had a pleasant run
Shall we be trotting off again?"
But the answer came there none
And this was scarcely odd because -
Leela was with K.9!